Tales of Maloki
by superpsychtime
Summary: So I'd like to think I invented the Maleficent/Loki crossover because i thought of it almost immediately several months ago at the mention of a Maleficent movie and since then I have made more fanart of them than I am comfortable admitting. There will be several chapters of this as they are my pride and joy now.


Loki could already feel it, in his bones, that this was going to be a bad idea.

After a few dozen arguments over how "important family is" and a handful of the saddest, most striking puppy dog eyes he's ever seen on the face of a girl of her beauty, he eventually, had to give in. So there they were, hand in hand, right outside of the Avengers' Mansion (which was nothing more than a glorified clubhouse for his dimwitted brother's friends to run around in, in his personal opinion). He raised his hand to knock, but the door flung open before he could make contact.

"Hello Master Loki and Mistress Maleficent," came a British man's voice whose body he couldn't see, "Mr. Stark and the others are expecting you. Go right up." The only thing crushing his discomfort and suspicion about the disembodied voice was his recollection of Thor warning him beforehand of the security system known as "J.A.R.V.I.S." and how he shoudn't freak out about it. He tugged on Mal's hand as he led her inside.

* * *

He should have seen it coming.

None of the "Avengers" as they so called themselves had seen his new partner and only his brother had the vaguest idea of what she looked like. Everytime he tried to go into detail about her, he would become distracted by her simplest features, such as the intimidating arches of her eyebrows, giving her a permanent, sinister look that he couldn't help but be drawn to, or the fullness of her red lips, or those eyes, oh god those eyes, that could bring even the mightiest man to his knees-

And right about then would be where he would get lost in thought, so eventually Thor stopped asking for details and just demanded he bring her over. Loki would have been fine with just showing his most prized possession off to just his brother, but Thor would have nothing less than to introduce her to everyone, and that's what gets him uncomfortable. Maleficent, of course, was fully on board with it, playing on the argument that she recently learned just how important family is. She didn't elaborate on that and he didn't push for details.

So of course, even though it is completely understanble that he couldn't possibly anticipate how the rowdy bunch would react to his new girlfriend, he should have at least foreseen how his own puppy of a brother would've responded.

The second they had stepped in the room, Thor's thunderous voice had boomed, "WHAT ARE THOSE SILK, EBONY THINGS EMERGING FROM YOUR BACK? I LOVE THEM. MAY I TOUCH THEM?" And then he had all but pounced on Maleficent to gain access to her wings before she had even responded an amused "Sure."

Loki's usually expressionless faced burned crimson with shame for his brother's inadequate manners, and he murmured an apology.

"It's fine," whispered Maleficent, "He's being very gentle." Well, at least his Neanderthalic brother had _some_ sense.

A smirk crept up on Loki's face as her turned back around to face the stares of the rest of the group. All of their expressions were wide eyed, as if they'd never seen something out of the ordinary before (he would've thought that their pet hulk would have already rid them of such incredulity). He studied each of their faces; Black Widow's had a hint of disapproval, most likely from the intimidation of another, possibly more attractive female being in the same room as her; Hawkeye, whose attention was, of course, strictly on that of Black Widow; Tony Stark, who was in his Iron Man suit as if it were just a pair of pyjamas to lounge around the house in. Wait, where were the other two? Their pet and Mr. America himself were no where to be seen.

There was a long pause of silence-not counting the "ooo"s and "ahh"s Thor gave everytime he found an extra soft feather-until Tony gave a small cough to clear his throat before stepping forward, arm outstretched.

"Hey, I'm Tony. It's nice to finally meet you," he said with his most charismatic smile plastered on his face as he waited for her to grasp his hand for a proper handshake. "Loki wouldn't shut up about-"

He was interrupted by the high pitched scream that came out of Maleficent. Despite Loki being caught off guard by this, as Tony had done nothng more but simply offer her one of the human appropriate gestures of acquaintanceship, he still did not hesitate to forcefully push Tony off of her while yelling "Unhand her!" for good measure. He could feel his face burning red with anger but that's what a good boyfriend would do, right? Protect his woman at all costs? His reponse was completely acceptable. However, perhaps pulling out the Chitauri Scepter, that had been hidden underneath his robe the whole time, was a _bit_ of an overreaction.

"For Christ's sakes," hissed Tony as he made his way towards them again, "We said no weapons-"

"Whoa whoa, what seems to be the problem?" Steve Rogers, with his impeccably good timing, came between Stark and Loki, placing a hand on Stark's chest to calm him. He turned his head to look at Loki and said "What did Tony fo this time?"

The sudden gasp Tony gave in response to that could be labelled nothing short of 'dramatic'. "Why do you ASSUME I did something?"

"He burned my lady's hand," Loki intervened. "Completely on purpose!"

"That's not true!" Tony yelled.

"I SAW HIM BURN THE WINGED LADY'S HAND. DO NOT LIE, MAN OF IRON."

"What Tony probably means is," Bruce Banner said appearing seemingly out of nowhere, "He didn't mean to burn her on purpose."

"Yeah exactly!" Pride filled Tony's chest to see his science bud clear his name.

Banner went on. "It would have been impossible for him to know how she would react to iron-"

"Yeah exactly!"

"Due to his crippling lack of intelligence."

"Yeah- Wait what?" Tony abruptly stopped nodding his head in agreement while Steve surpressed a smile. Natasha and Clif showed no such courtesy and outright laughed at Tony's expense.

"Well it's obvious," Banner continued with certainty, "That she's a fairy, correct? And of course, everyone with at least a third grade intelligence knows that iron harms fairies, obviously."

Tony, the king of comebacks, was speechless for a few crucial seconds as the laughter of his soon to be ex-friends grew louder behind him. The only thing stopping him from going up his ex-best friend and smacking that cocky grin off of his face was A, if he did that, Bruce would probably turn into the Hulk immediately and well, eat him or something and B, Steve's hand was still on his chest and he was looking at him with those apologetic blue eyes of his and he rather liked how comforted that combination made him feel.

With those first few precious seconds lost, Tony attempted a half-baked comeback just for the principle of it. "Well excuuuuuse me for not attending the Mythical School of Fae as a child!" This caused Thor, Banner, and Maleficent to join in on the laughter now and even Loki let out a chuckle or two.

As the laughter started to die down, Loki asked, with the most serious face he could muster, given the circumstances, "Does this mean I can incinerate him now?"

Rogers quickly turned around at that, looking absolutely horrified. Boy, couldn't this kid take a joke?

"Absolutely not!" Steve said, defensively crossing his arms and standing in front of Tony. Loki couldn't help but notice how pleased Tony looked with that.

Maleficent, who was still having her wings delicately stroked by Thor despite everything, pulled Loki close and whispered to him, "Loki, dear, you know it's quite alright. I heal instantly as you already know."

Loki turned to look at her and tried to focus on her hat that covered the horns he almost worshipped, instead of gazing into her eyes, lest he get lost in them. "I know," he whispered back, "I just really need an excuse to end him." Maleficent giggled because of this remark and he was so pleased that he looked down to see her face light up from laughter and oh- There were those eyes again. He swore that those eyes alone contained all the hypnotism power that his staff carried and more, and he would be afraid of it if he didn't love it and her. "He's annoyed me since day one."

Her hypnotic eyes were twinkling for crying out loud and he'd be lying if he said he didn't succumb to their power everytime. All the other inhabitants seemed to fade from the room, or at least from Loki's mind, as he focused on nothing but Maleficent. Involuntarily, as if it were as natural as breathing, he leaned down and met her full red lips with his own thin ones, and everything else except for them completely disappeared.

The unexpected kiss caused Maleficent's wings to flare out and spread in opposite directions, making one particular thunder god lose his place of the feathers he had been counting.

"BROTHER, ALTHOUGH I AM TREMENDOUSLY HAPPY THAT YOU ARE HAPPY, PLEASE DO KISS YOUR FEMALE AT A LATER TIME, WHAT I AM DOING IS VITALLY IMPORTANT."

Both Mal and Loki uttered a soft laugh without breaking their kiss. His brother sure did have tendency to have the mindset of that of a three year old who skipped his nap and was being denied a chocolate bar. They probably would've ended their kiss, just to appease Thor if nothing else, but instead they pretended not to hear him. Just as it was mentioned before, everything in the room, except for them, had completely disappeared.


End file.
